Teganjaz Books Presents... Author, Tracy L. Darity

 Over the past month I have shared with you the Love… series, comprising of six blogs on the topic of infidelity in marriage. Today’s blog will be the final in the series. I hope you have enjoyed my musings as well as the excerpts from Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day, my controversial new novel, which deals with many of the topics in the Love… blog series.

Infidelity is either growing in numbers or the stigma of adultery is wearing off because everywhere you look you see or hear about someone being unfaithful to a spouse, and not just the stories about celebrities and politicians flooding the news, but amongst people in our everyday lives. Last night I was watching The Wendy Williams Show and she made a statement that pretty much put the whole infidelity topic into context. While discussing the Naomi Campbell interview with Oprah Winfrey, Wendy said “If you, him (referring to the married man Naomi Campbell is involved with) and his wife were on his yacht and it began to sink and there was only one extra life jacket, who do you think he would give it to? Not you (referring to Naomi Campbell), but his wife, the mother of his kids.” Now this may just be the words of a woman who has experienced her own bout with infidelity but it still doesn’t answer the ago-old question, why do people put up with infidelity.

I received many messages and emails off-line and on various Ning sites, from people who have experienced an affair and found themselves relating to one or more of the topics. So in “It’s Over” I am going to share some of the comments I received.

I kicked off the series with Are You And Your Mate Keeping It 100, a discussion on the importance of both partners bringing 100% of themselves to the relationship to ensure it’s success. Many people agreed that this is a must, but rare.

“If I had known this when my husband proposed I would have said hell no. Had it not been for me giving 100 at all times our marriage wouldn’t have lasted the six years it did.” Trina

“You are so right. I thought 50/50 was the way to go but soon learned it wasn’t enough and that is what killed my marriage. When my husband wasn’t giving his all I didn’t want to give mine either…” Jaynell

“This is something couples don’t understand. Me and my husband have been married for 27 years and it is hard work. My husband lost his job a year ago and I think if our relationship wasn’t so strong we would not have made it. In today’s materialistic society most women would not have been able to pick-up the slack for this long.” Lauren

Next we had First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage Then Comes ____ Pushing A Baby Carriage, which touched on bringing a baby into a struggling marriage and how infidelity affects children.

“In this day and age why would a woman be so stupid as to think having a baby is going to keep a man home?” Lena

“This is nothing new, I remember my dad taking me around his other woman. I loved my dad and didn’t want to upset my mom. It was tough being caught in the middle.” Tomeka

“Kids know what is going on, they are smarter than we think. If your man is cheating don’t stay for the kids just do what is best for you and them. If your mate doesn’t want to stop then you have to leave.” Tina

Part III was Marriage…Life Commitment or Life Sentence? I was surprised by the number of men who had something to say on this topic. One guy on one of my Ning sites actually sent me a picture of a man behind bars. Talk about a picture speaking a thousand words.

“I would have to say life sentence. It’s not that easy to leave especially if kids are involved. If it were I would have been left.” Darryl

“Both, you have to be committed to stay but it does feel like a life sentence when you want to leave but also want to make it work. I’ve been married almost twenty years and don’t want to start over. I guess we’ve become our parents.” Charles

On to Part IV, Maybe Your Spouse Just Isn’t That Into You this had to be the most intense blog in the series. Many women believe that if a man stays in a relationship he has to be into her in some way, or he would leave.

“That’s bullsh%^. If my man isn’t into me he can just leave, no reason to stay.” Belinda

“I disagree. A man may not be happy at home but something is keeping him there. If he was to be honest he loves his wife he just doesn’t know how to get what he wants from her.” Lenay

“This is a lie that some women want to believe to justify being with another woman’s husband. I am going to have to pick-up this book because these postings are off the chain.” Ann

Who Is She And What Is She To You, touched on whether or not a woman knows her man is cheating and what she plans to do about it. This was the most surprising response:

“I would stay there and make his life a living hell.” Dondria

“I knew my husband was cheating I just didn’t know it was with someone I knew. We are still together but it took a lot of forgiving on my part. When I finally figured it out I felt like such a fool.” Lenora

You Call Her Bytch, Ho, Slut and Worse, But What Does He Call Her, pretty much spoke for itself.

“And a whole lot worse is right. I don’t care what he calls her, it doesn’t change what I think about this type of woman.” Shavone

“Women need to recognize because you spoke the truth here. I lost my sister when her husband flipped out when the girl he was cheating with wanted to leave. He killed everybody. It is crazy for people to cheat when they can just leave. If he wanted this woman so bad why couldn’t he just leave my sister? But he wanted his cake and eat it to.” Sonja

Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day affects readers differently. It evokes emotions and gives you something to think about. It is the setting for the perfect storm. Lives become intertwined and caught-up in a raging whirlwind when one man is unable to control his desire for women, other than his wife. A wife who feels she is powerless in taming her husbands bad behavior. A mistress who wants to believe beyond all hope that he will leave his unhappy home for the love she is offering. But like most storms they don’t stay stationery and the aftermath can be devastating. Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day will have you hooked from page one until the explosive ending that no one sees coming. Get your copy today and see just how unlike snow in Florida really is. Yours today for the low price of $14.95.

Tracy L. Darity is the author of the Multicultural Advocacy Literary Groups Living In Color Award for 2009 Best New Author, for her debut novel He Loves Me He Loves Me Not!