Teganjaz Books Presents... Author, Tracy L. Darity

Your mate is cheating, you’ve learned her identity, and your first thought is, this low-down, nasty, trick, is screwing my man because she doesn’t have what it takes to get her own man. She has no self-esteem, and lacks self-respect. Your girls are pumping you up, “yeah, she’s a skank, a whore, and you are so much more than she’ll ever be.” The conversations or “war-counsels” as men put it, are an open forum for the pinned up anguish and animosity you are felling, but what are you going to do besides name-calling?

It is common for women to react this way when they learn another woman is involved with their mate. But do you ever wonder what he thinks of her and what adjectives your mate uses to describe his chick on the side. Those words could very well determine if you and he can survive his infidelity.

Of course, he probably would never say to you what he is truly feeling, especially if you are spewing these words in the heat of battle, but if you could be the proverbial fly on the wall, you may be amazed at what you would hear. Not all men who cheat do so for the obvious, which is freaky sex. Even if that is his reason, his descriptions still may not equal yours. Whether it’s the couple on Maury, a popular politician, a well-known celebrity, or the guy next door, you never hear them say rude or crass remarks about the other woman. For some reason no one wants to acknowledge that when affairs take place, the parties involved develop feelings, and those feelings are sometimes deeper than the ones he shares with his spouse.

In Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day, LaDamien, the husband, often professes his love for Mya, his mistress. Kim, LaDamien’s wife, is unable to reconcile that her husband feels anything for the woman he is cheating with. Even when Kim strays herself and falls for another man, she is unable to relate her feelings for her new lover, with those her husband is having for his mistress. Could this be because men are deemed as cold, heartless, and unfeeling, while women are considered as caring, nurturing, and unable to detach their emotions when dealing with others?

If you know your mate is being unfaithful, would you take the challenge and ask them to be open and honest and write down three words to best describe what he is feeling for the other woman? Would you be surprised to learn that those words do not match the ones you use? Is it possible that those three words fill in the blanks of the things that you aren’t to him? Once the exercise is over, what would you be willing to do to make sure your mate knew he had those things in you, his wife, and doesn’t need to go in search of what is already there in you?

Now I am not saying that all the things you are feeling about the other woman aren’t true or justified but the bottom line is, what is taking place in your relationship really isn’t about her, but about you and your mate. LaDamien and Kim never addressed each others infidelity and their problems only progressed. Regardless of what LaDamien felt for Mya, or Kim felt for her lover, it was all secondary to what they felt for each other. Affairs do not work themselves out, they do not go away if you ignore them, and the negative energy exerted in name calling and animosity towards the other woman does not bring your husband closer to you.

Excerpts: Love...Like Snow In Florida On A ot Summer Day

LaDamien

Mya and I are on International Drive in Orlando when Kim calls. She is telling me about her friend Debra and Debra’s husband Todd. When Kim finishes she holds the phone not speaking. I look at Mya and roll my eyes upward. She chuckles. We know this is Kim’s way of trying to figure out if I am alone. You would think that after all this time she would know that it isn’t going to work, but time after time she does it.

Like Debra and Karen are to Kim, Mya is my best friend. No matter what we go through or how bad things get between us, and we have had our share of bad times, like the trip to Miami that ended in disaster, she is the person I trust with my deepest thoughts. We haven’t fully recovered from that weekend and things have been tense, but she is still here and that’s enough for me. Aside from the drama, she is the person I call first with news, good or bad. She is who I roll my ideas off of, and lately she is the person whose opinion I seek when I need advice, personal or professional. That is one of the things I always loved about her, we can debate an issue for hours and in the end agree to disagree. When I am upset she has a way of moving us from the topic back to the place where only our love for each other matters. So when I end the call with Kim I turn to her and share the latest on Debra and Todd. She shakes her head, and displays a look of disbelief.

“Well they say birds of a feather flock together. No wonder Kim is so passive towards your infidelity. She is hanging with people who think like she does.” I ask her what she means by this and she does not hesitate to expound on her comment.

KIM

TayJohn feels so good inside of me. His large hands are exploring my backside as I ride him into ecstasy.

“Kim, you feel so good,” he says over and over and over again. The harder we grind the deeper I want him to be inside of me.

His lovemaking is so paced that it drives me mad. He tells me not to rush but to savor every second but by the time we are able to be together my body is fiending like a crack addict.

I try telling myself that we have a lifetime ahead of us, that I can relax and enjoy the moment. But deep down inside I know this isn’t quite true. Each and every second we are together is moments I am stealing from my marriage, from my daughter, and from my husband. I try to shake off the feelings of guilt plaguing my mind, leaving me wondering if these types of thoughts ever enter LaDamien’s mind when he is with other women.

“Earth to Kim,” TayJohn says. “Where’re you at baby?”

“Trust me, I’m right here,” I say as I place kisses on his hairy chest. “And here, and here,” sliding down the length of his body. “And here,” taking his shaft deep into my mouth. TayJohn is shivering which moves me to please him more and more.

Hours later as I am preparing to head home TayJohn asks me to sit down for a little talk. “So is this all we have, stolen moments, afternoon sex, and then lounging in front of the television?” He asks me this as he runs his fingers through my micro-braids, one of the many changes he has inspired in me. “I don’t want you to think this is only about sex for me.”

To be perfectly honest, it never occurred to me that he wanted more. The notion that I could offer him more is frightening. Infidelity is so easy. Here I am with a man who is not my husband, having walked out of the house this morning under the pretense of going to a study group and then shopping with my friends. There wasn’t a hint of guilt in my voice as I told LaDamien the lie. He may or may not have believed me. To him it may have simply been one less lie he had to tell in order to be with Mya. Could I be turning into my cheating husband? Does this put me on the same level as him?

Tracy L. Darity is the author of the Multicultural Advocacy Literary Groups Living In Color Award  for 2009 Best New Author, for her debut novel He Loves Me He Loves Me Not! She is also the author of the steamy, yet thought-provoking new release, Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day. The above blog is part VI of the Love… series. Click the links below to read the previous entries.

Part I – Are You And Your Mate Keeping It 100?

Part II – First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage Then Comes ____ Pushing A Baby Carriage

Part III – Marriage….Life Commitment or Life Sentence

Part IV - Maybe Your Spouse Just Isn't That Into You

Part V - Who Is She And What Is She To You

Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day is causing readers to take pause and reflect over their own relationships. This controversial novel about three lives that become intertwined when LaDamien Bryson, who is married, is faced with whether or not to stay in a marriage that he long ago realized was a mistake, or pursue the love of a woman he believes to be his soul-mate. His inability to choose one over the other sends all of their lives into a whirlwind with ramifications that can cost him a whole lot more than their love.

To take a peek inside, see book trailers, or learn more about Tracy L. Darity, please visit www.TracyLDarity.com; www.TracyLDarity.ning.com; or connect with the author on Facebook and Twitter.