Teganjaz Books Presents... Author, Tracy L. Darity

Growing up, math was my worst subject. I hated it so much that I gave 100% at all times, so I wouldn’t have to repeat it. I didn’t make the best grades but I passed the classes and earned the credits. Yet, my strongest traits are finances and analytics. For eleven years I held a position where I was responsible for millions of dollars in revenue for a city municipality. Each month, no later than the fifth, I had to submit a general ledger to the City’s accounting department for accounts receivables to major corporations and city employees that utilized my departments’ services. The ledger had to be balanced down to the penny and there were months where I poured blood, sweat, and tears into that ledger because I was off by one or two cents. There were times when I wanted to cheat and fudge the numbers but I have too much integrity for that. Plus, I love a good challenge and more so, the satisfaction of overcoming obstacles. Besides, fudging numbers does not really make the books whole, you will still have a deficit that more than likely will increase over time.

Relationships remind me of that general ledger; the couple must remain whole or 100 percent at all times. No faking, no falsehoods, just real through and through. One of my favorite poems is Celebration by Mari Evans. In the poem she writes:

I will be bringing you someone whole

and you will be bringing me someone whole

and we be twice as strong

and we be twice as true

and we will have twice as much

of love

and everything

How many of us have been told that for a successful relationship both parties must bring 50% to the table, or meet each other halfway, or something similar? Well I believe that if we each bring 50% we are doomed to fail from the start. Once we meet each other halfway, how do we determine which way to go to reach our destination? Are you feeling me?

When I read Celebration I envision two people bringing 100% of themselves to the relationship, that way, if one isn’t doing well, together they are still whole and have enough to sustain the relationship through rough patches. Even if she’s temporarily at 70% and he’s temporarily at 70% they still have more than 100% together. The couple who is only bringing 50% each would have to maintain at that level all the time or else they would be less than whole as a couple. There will always be something missing from both sides. And how do you determine what part of you not to bring to the relationship? Chances are what you leave out is what you need most, to balance the situation; things like, respect, compassion, trust, empathy, and most important, unconditional love.

In my novel, Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day, LaDamien Bryson thinks all he needs in a wife is a woman who is smart, attractive, and will be a good mother to their children. When he chooses Kim Friar he only sees what looks good on paper. Kim sees LaDamien as many women see their potential mates. He’s fine, good looking, and with a little patience she can mold him into what she wants him to be. What they both fail to realize is that marriage requires a whole lot more. Had they taken the time to get to know each other they would have realized that they both had major deficiencies and once they met each other halfway, a major tug-of-war would ensue and they would remain at that intersection the better part of their marriage.

If you are in a relationship ask yourself if you are bringing 100 or 50, and then ask your mate the same thing. If the answer is equates to less than 100 each, it just may explain why your relationship seems to be a constant struggle and the two of you never seem to be on level ground. If your love for each other is real and you think your relationship is worth fighting for, it is time to shore up your accounts and get your ledger in balance.

Excerpts from Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day

LaDamien 

Walking into the bedroom I can’t overlook Kim lying across the bed, a pint of Haagen-Dazs’ Butter Pecan ice cream and a pack of Oreo Double Stuff cookies next to her. The sight repulses me. She has gained a good fifty pounds in the five years we’ve been married. I use to want more children with her but I am terrified that if she becomes pregnant again she will reach a point of obesity that she will not be able to overcome.

“What are you doing, I thought we were going to visit my mom?”

It’s obvious she has no intentions of going with me. My mom lives alone in an assisted living facility. She is a resilient woman. Well into her eighties, she has suffered several, mild heart attacks, and the latest assault on her body, diabetes.

My eldest sister Veronica is retired from nursing and spends much of her time with our mother during the day, while I and my other three siblings rotate visiting in the evenings so she does not have to eat dinner alone.

Tonight is my turn. Kim has not accompanied me much lately. Since returning to school she has become distant and does not have time to focus on me or my needs. She is vying for the position of Vice President of Human Resources at her job. When the current VP told her in a sidebar conversation that she would be retiring in two years, Kim thought nothing of it. But as always, I had to encourage her to start preparing herself to be in contention for the position.

Kim rolls into an upright position, stuffs the lid into the empty container and folds the Oreo package in half. “Karen called. She wants to go to the movies and to have drinks. We’re meeting at five.”

It is almost impossible for me to contain the elation of knowing I will not have to come up with a lie to get out of the house without her. She has provided me with an out, although she has seen the ticket to the Celebrity Auction. It was in the glove compartment of my Cadillac Escalade. The vehicle she never drives unless she feels the need to snoop. The ticket was under the owner’s manual but when I checked earlier, it was on top. Her way of letting me know I am not being slick.

Kim rolls her eyes when I say I will be driving the Lexus Coupe to visit my mother, “Might as well wash it so it will be clean for the weekend.” I explain.

She does not say a word just heads towards the kitchen. Grabbing the keys I head to the garage without saying goodbye. When I return two hours later, Kim is gone. I shower and dress in my navy Armani suit, spray on my Calvin Klein Obsession, put on my Omega watch, and slide my wedding band into my pocket.

Kim    

LaDamien has been different these past few days, the conspicuous signs that he has found another lover. My count stopped at four. They come and go so quickly, some for a few weeks and others for a few months. The longest was over a year. He was seeing her when he asked me to marry him. I was just getting out of a horrific relationship that left me penniless. My former lover had walked away leaving me to clean up the mess he had made. If it wasn’t bad enough that he had left me for a woman fresh out of high school, but he had wiped out our bank account in the process. Bill collectors were calling from sun up until sundown. There was no peace in my life, slowly, I was losing it. The shame from his betrayal led me to a self-imposed exile, unable to share the true extent of my situation with anyone. My mother had warned me against shacking, saying people were not meant to act like they were married when they weren’t.

LaDamien showed up at the right moment. I had all but given up. He assured me that things would be all right, “First thing you need to do is get your finances in order and take care of your outstanding debts,” he told me. After his pep talk he helped me to sell my house before the bank could foreclose, and assisted me in working out repayment plans with my creditors. Then he encouraged me to put my business degree to use, to go out on a limb and apply for positions I never imagined I would qualify to interview for, let alone actually get a callback on. My self esteem rose instantly, and my desire for him shot through the roof.

When he informed me of his decision to move to Houston, Texas, to join a friend who was doing well in real estate, I jumped at the opportunity to go with him. My friends thought I was crazy to up and quit when my career was just shifting into full swing. But they didn’t know the real reason I was ready to start anew in a fresh place with people we did not know…

… Debra and Karen, both married since graduating from college, would think I was crazy for sure, so I didn’t say it. I just told them that I thought LaDamien and I could have something special if he would just settle down. A month after that conversation LaDamien asked me to marry him. He came over one evening and asked if I wanted to do it. Three days later he picked me up for lunch and we went to the courthouse to get a marriage license. Afterwards, we drove to his place and there waiting was his sister Pamela and her husband, along with a friend of LaDamien’s who was also a minister. We were married right in his living room. It wasn’t exactly what I had hoped for but at least we were finally husband and wife.

I don’t know exactly what I thought was going to happen once we said, “I do.” We weren’t settled a good two weeks when LaDamien informed me his lease was up at the end of the month and he wasn’t renewing. This revelation came so quick that I felt I had no other choice but to go to my mother and ask her if we could live with her temporarily, until we could find our own place.

Going back to my mothers’ home yet again was embarrassing, but this time seemed worse.

Tracy L. Darity is the author of the award-winning “He Loves Me He Loves Me Not!” and her latest release “Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day.”  To take a peek inside of these phenomenal novels about love and relationships, click here, or visit www.TracyLDarity.com.