Teganjaz Books Presents... Author, Tracy L. Darity

First, let me start with this disclaimer. I am a woman of a certain age and it may just be me but I swear, every time I turn on the television there is a woman, usually who shares my skin tone, talking louder than is required to get her message across.

Do you remember the first season of Flava of Love? You know, the reality TV show with rapper Flava Flav, and the women who for whatever reason, decided to get on national television and vie for his affection. I believe this was when I first noticed it. Not only were these women on TV behaving badly but they were loud and obnoxious while doing it. Then my daughter hipped me to another train wreck in progression. This time it was Oxygen’s The Bad Girls Club. I never fully understood the concept of this show. They place a group of women with pour social skills in a house together and they are supposed to learn how to deal with their anger issues. Instead, viewers are treated to an hour long screaming match that sometimes led to violent acts that lands them in jail or kicked off the show. Sigh.

Now I am sure you’re saying, “What do you expect from a group of misfits?” But it doesn’t stop there. Who goes into a job interview screaming and shooting off profanity towards others competing for the same gig? If you are a contestant on I Want To Work For Diddy you can, and they won’t even call SECURITY! What is that teaching the young people watching the show? Trust me I have worked for a company that hire people who, although they aren’t as bad, definitely display the tendencies.

Moving right along. What really send my noise-o-meter off the radar is BET’s Frankie and Neffe, the mother and sister of R & B singer Keyshia Cole. If you remember Keyshia had her own reality show that featured her family. I watched this show and my heart went out to this young lady because I could not even begin to imagine having to exert that much time and energy into loving my family. Whatever the reason for the separation, Keyshia Cole’s The Way It Is did not return and in its place we were served up a helping of drama, drama, and more drama in a series that was supposed to be about growth. I don’t know if Frankie and Neffe achieved that growth because by the third episode my head ached just considering watching the show.

Next up on the guide is Bravo’s Real Housewives of Atlanta. NeNe the shows favorite among viewers seems to have mastered the technique of bringing out the loudness in others. If Kim or Kandi was in the room you could bet your last dollar a shouting match was about to ensue. But in general, even when talking during the confessional, NeNe speaks in a very loud voice. Whew!

But the winner of my “why are you talking so loud” title has to go to the new nighttime talk show The Mo’Nique Show. Disclaimer #2. I love me some Mo’Nique and I am extremely proud of this sister, but…

If you watched Mo’Nique’s special edition with The Game cast you heard her admit that the emails were flowing in and people were asking why she was being so loud. And it’s not just Mo’Nique, It’s Wendy Williams, on her show, and if you watch The View you’ll be plugging your ears when Sherri and Whoopi raise the decibels a few bars.

So what is it? Why are these women talking so loud, yelling and screaming to be heard? It depends on who you ask. Of course with the reality shows the reason is ratings. The more drama created the more people tune in. In the case of the women on The View, if you were trying to have an intelligent conversation with Elisabeth Hasselbeck you’d probably have to yell also if you hoped to get a word in. What is it with that chick?

According to Mo’Nique, she doesn’t mean to be so loud but she is so excited when she walks out on the stage that she can’t help herself. I can buy into this, but it doesn’t stop at the opening, it goes on and on throughout the show. I even find myself looking at the guest for their reactions and lately I’ve noticed a transformation. No, not in Mo’Nique, but her guest. They are getting just as loud as her. Is it contagious? Are they getting loud subconsciously or are they doing it to mock the host?

Whatever the reason, sisters can we just tone it down? It doesn’t take all of that, plus, it feeds into the negative stereotypes Black women already face. Plus, your message gets lost because people tune out what you’re saying and begin to focus on how you are saying it.

Much Love,

Tracy

Tracy L. Darity is the author of "He Loves Me He Loves Me Not!" and the upcoming release, "Love...Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day."