Teganjaz Books Presents... Author, Tracy L. Darity

Every time I see a celebrity/athlete/politician, etc, in the media apologizing for being caught in the act of being human I cringe. I by no means condone their behavior but as I watched singer Chris Brown bumbling through an ill-planned public apology on Larry King Live last Wednesday night I couldn't help but wonder why he or any other public person feel they need to apologize to anyone other than the party they harmed by their actions. Chris Brown owes Rihanna an apology. His forgiveness can only come from Rihanna and God. Not you and not me.

I am reminded of the "I am Not Your Role Model" commercial Charles Barkley did for Nike (click here) what seems like a lifetime ago. In the commercial Sir Charles lets the world know "I'm not paid to be a role model. I'm paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court."  The media obviously did not buy into this notion because some 15 or more years later celebrities are expected to apologize for their personal conduct because they are in the public eye and children are watching.

As a parent, I taught my daughters to keep their hands to themselves. No one should ever put their hands on them, male or female; and if they are in a relationship and their mate strikes them once, it is one time too many and they need to cut their losses. By instilling in them that a man who hits you doesn't love you, and raising them in a home free of domestic violence, they in turn do not need Chris Brown to acknowledge he was wrong because they knew he was the second the story broke.

Chris Brown is a singer, if it were not for his ability to entertain he would be non-existent in most of our lives. His job is to sing, dance, and entertain. At the end of the day he has a home, family, and personal interest just like the rest of us. All of us at some point and time have done something that was out of character, or embarrassing, or hurtful, or even criminal to someone else. In most cases we may have apologized to the parties involved, but rarely if ever are we required to stand before family, colleagues, church, or community and apologize under the guise that we have an image to uphold, we're setting a bad example for the kids, or we have to let the world know our actions are not acceptable. Instead, we get to go about our business amongst our youth, our peers, and our elders setting the real examples they are likely to follow.

What are we really teaching our children, that the only people held accountable for misbehaving badly are celebrities? Although Mr. Jones beat Mrs. Jones last night, he does not have to apologize to his family, his neighbors, his employer, because he's not famous. At the end of the day when it's all said and done, does anyone really care about Chris Brown or any other celebrity's apology? Are our lives any better or worse because they apologize? Did we do anything different, like leave an abusive relationship, volunteered at a battered woman's shelter, or made a personal commitment to stop being a batterer or victim, as a result of his apology? Probably not.

So tell me, exactly who does the apology benefit anyway.

Much Love,

Tracy

Tracy L. Darity is the author of "He Loves Me He Loves Me Not!" and soon to be released "Love?Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day."