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Letting the Music Guide My Pen...Check-out This Excerpt

Posted on June 2, 2011 at 11:50 AM Comments comments (0)

When words fail me in my writing, I look for a song that I can relate to what I am trying to convey in the story.  The following excerpt from Love...Like Snow In Florida on a Hot Summer Day was inspired by the song You Are, by R & B artist, Kem.

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Tuesday, after LaDamien returns from New York, we take off to spend the day together. Surprisingly, he is not trying to get me into bed but suggests we do something adventurous like ride the Pinellas Trail.

The trail extends thirty plus miles from St. Petersburg to Tarpon Springs and is expected to be almost fifty miles in length once completed. It began as the vision of a father who lost his son when he was killed while riding his bicycle. Coupled with the county’s concern over unused railroad tracks from the CSX railway system that stretch from city to city throughout the area, the Pinellas Trail was formed.

We decide to travel to Walsingham Park, some twenty miles, have lunch, and return. After our plans are made, I reluctantly remind LaDamien that he did not buy me a new bike as promised. We have made short bike trips to Fort Desoto Beach, and through downtown, but my bicycle is not for long trips. His deep sigh resonates through the phone line and I regret saying anything. Lately, whenever it comes to spending money on me, LaDamien seems reserved and almost agitated at the notion. I do not know if he thinks I am trying to use him or if things are not going well with the business. If I could handle the trip on my outdated Huffy, I would but it would be torture. LaDamien asks me how much money I have to put towards a new bike. “A hundred at the most,” I replied and he says he will call me back.

An hour later he arrives at my house with a rented bicycle and tells me if I like it and don’t complain too much during the ride, he will buy me one in a few weeks when he has some money. “The funeral and travel expenses have drained me and I really need to cutback on my spending,” he adds. The rented bike will be fine and I will save for my own if we decide to do this more often.

It takes us nearly two hours to make the trek to Walsingham Park. We make stops along the way so I can rest and catch my breath but nothing more than five minutes. Before reaching the park we stop at a Subway sandwich shop and purchase a sandwich and chips. We make another stop at 7-eleven to buy water and sodas. Finally, we reach the park and it is beautiful. LaDamien lets me know he wants to ride the parks trail before settling down, so I follow him as we take in the beauty of our peaceful surroundings. I can’t think of any park in our area that can compare but LaDamien quickly points out Fort Desoto. “But that is the beach.” He chuckles before clarifying that it is still considered a park. So I let him have that one.

We finally park the bikes and settle near the lake. Pulling out a bed sheet from my backpack and spreading it on the ground, we take a seat, unwrap our sub and each take half. Although LaDamien stated he wanted Doritos and not potato chips he has his hand in my bag. We chat as we eat our meal and once done we discard of the trash and head back to the sheet. It is so serene I can feel myself drifting off. LaDamien pats my leg. “Don’t fall asleep on me, we have to get back home remember.” I do remember and I am questioning myself as to why I agreed to this. I say to him, “Why don’t you go back and get the car and come get me,” he laughs.

LaDamien scoots closer to me. He is sitting up and I am stretched out on my stomach. “Do you love me Mya?” he asks.

“Of course.” Then he asks me why I don’t say it often. I tell him I thought I said it all the time and if I say it too much it may begin to lose its meaning. He disagrees letting me know he wants to hear it everyday. When I think about it, LaDamien tells me all the time that he loves me. So much so, that at times I wonder if he’s trying to convince himself.

“I did a lot of thinking in New York,” he begins. “Death can come at any time. We’re living this life right now that isn’t good for me and has to be hell for you. I just don’t know what I would do if I lost you before I had the chance to truly know you in the way I want to get to know you.” He is running his hand down my back.

I turn on my side and look up into his eyes that have started to water. He is in a serious zone. “My life has been so different since I met you Mya. I knew I would love you but never thought it would be so intense. I think of you all the time, when I wake-up I want you next to me; and when I come home in the evenings I want it to be you waiting for me.” He grimaces as if in pain so I reach for him. He takes my hand into his and continues.

“I don’t know how much longer I can stay with Kim knowing how I feel about you. I just wish I knew without a doubt that you felt the same way. All I need to know is that you love me as much as I love you.” He places my open hand to his lips and kisses my palms. I come up and meet his lips. We kiss passionately for minutes, as if we will cease to exist if we let go. I do love LaDamien and how he can question that love is beyond me since I thought I showed him in everything I do.

We finally separate and he looks to me for my reassurance so I pull out my MP3 player and search for a song. He is growing impatient. The song I am looking for comes up and I hand him the earphones. “I listened to this song a hundred times last night. This has to be the most beautiful love song I have ever heard. If a man ever felt this way about me I would feel so special, so loved, and I would know without a doubt that our love would be forever.” I say this as he adjusts the earphones and I press play. He listens intently as Kem crone’s the words to You Are. When the song ends he hands me the earphones. “Kem, huh, so you’re hooked now? I never paid much attention to this track. What does it mean to you?” he asks.

“It means that I love you. That you are so much a part of me that I no longer know how to exist without you.”

The intensity of his stare continues and he responds, “If I died today my body wouldn’t be cold before you found someone else.” He chuckles half-heartedly his eyes begging for me to counter this thought.

“That’s not true,” I say in a defensive tone. “If you were to die I would want to lie down and die too. Why do you question my love for you this way?” I hear the words I have just said but I don’t know where they came from. Nor have I ever said anything like this to anyone before. But then again, I have never loved anyone as much as I love LaDamien and hope I never will again.

He looks pleased with my admission but still his eyes hold a hint of unbelief. We stare into each others eyes for what feels like minutes. LaDamien blinks first, and smiles that brilliant smile I love so much. I reach for the MP3 player at the same time he reaches for the earplugs. “Put it on repeat,” he says. “I want to hear this song over and over again, and Mya, you are everything in this song and more. If something happened to you, I would die too.” He kisses my forehead and pulls me closer as he lays back and props his head on his bag. We lay in each others arms, LaDamien listening to Kem’s definition of a love so intense, yet innocent and pure; and I am enjoying the sounds of the park and flow of the lake. We drift off into a melancholy sleep but are awaken by the presence of someone standing over us.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to startle you,” the white woman, in hippie gear begins. “My name is Agnes, and my hobby is taking pictures of people in their natural state.” She hands us her card along with a small form. I look at the form and it is quite simple, it has a place for the date, location, and time, which have been completed already, and a place to write-in an email address where she can send us the photo’s she has taken. LaDamien looks scared, maybe even terrified. He is not buying her story but I believe she is sincere. I jot down my email address and give it back to her. Agnes sees the concern on LaDamien’s face and ensures him she is not a private eye or some other sinister character. She just loves seeing people in love and does her best to capture the moment. “You two are a beautiful couple. I hope the pictures turn out great and you can one day share them with your grandchildren.” She checks the paper I have handed to her and places it in a small pouch. Agnes says goodbye and moves on to a mother and child further down who are poking a stick in the water as if examining some creature for signs of life.

When Agnes is out of hearing distance, LaDamien asks if I believe her. I ask why not. He reminds me that he is married and it would not be beneath Kim to hire a private investigator to catch us together. “She has been so suspicious lately, always questioning my every move.” Nothing I say will reassure him. I believe Agnes was doing just what she said she was. We look down at the mother and child and just as she had done with us, she hands her a card and a small form. The mother fills in the email address and hands the paper back to Agnes. She then moves on to an elderly couple sitting on a bench.

LaDamien relaxes a bit then tells me it is time to head back. While he goes to relieve himself, I gather our things placing them in their respective backpacks. As I reach the bikes LaDamien returns and lures me into a fervent kiss. “You are the air that I breathe, the half that makes me whole. I love you Mya. I know you probably get tired of me saying it but it is the truth. I love you and I don’t know what to do about it.”

When he is so passionate about his love for me I am honored but hesitant at the same time. Like any woman I want to be loved by my man and adored, but on the other side of things I do not want to be idolized. LaDamien surprises me when he hands me a bunch of flowers that resemble Marigolds. They could have come from the Botanical Garden on-site, or he may have pulled them up from somewhere in the park. I laugh as I rub his arm and tell him that he can never tell me he loves me enough. I reach up and kiss him again. “Marigolds in bloom, huh, you are so amazing.” I say, thinking of the lyrics from You Are. We eventually mount the bikes and begin our long trek back.

For more information and to purchase your copy of Love...Like Snow In Florida on a Hot Summer Day visit www.TracyLDarity.com/Books.htm. Also available on Kindle and Nook.

Also, don't forget to check-out the Love Series, a collection of blogs, relating to the book.

                                        

It's Over!

Posted on May 5, 2010 at 1:54 PM Comments comments (0)

 Over the past month I have shared with you the Love… series, comprising of six blogs on the topic of infidelity in marriage. Today’s blog will be the final in the series. I hope you have enjoyed my musings as well as the excerpts from Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day, my controversial new novel, which deals with many of the topics in the Love… blog series.

Infidelity is either growing in numbers or the stigma of adultery is wearing off because everywhere you look you see or hear about someone being unfaithful to a spouse, and not just the stories about celebrities and politicians flooding the news, but amongst people in our everyday lives. Last night I was watching The Wendy Williams Show and she made a statement that pretty much put the whole infidelity topic into context. While discussing the Naomi Campbell interview with Oprah Winfrey, Wendy said “If you, him (referring to the married man Naomi Campbell is involved with) and his wife were on his yacht and it began to sink and there was only one extra life jacket, who do you think he would give it to? Not you (referring to Naomi Campbell), but his wife, the mother of his kids.” Now this may just be the words of a woman who has experienced her own bout with infidelity but it still doesn’t answer the ago-old question, why do people put up with infidelity.

 

I received many messages and emails off-line and on various Ning sites, from people who have experienced an affair and found themselves relating to one or more of the topics. So in “It’s Over” I am going to share some of the comments I received.

 

I kicked off the series with Are You And Your Mate Keeping It 100, a discussion on the importance of both partners bringing 100% of themselves to the relationship to ensure it’s success. Many people agreed that this is a must, but rare.

 

“If I had known this when my husband proposed I would have said hell no. Had it not been for me giving 100 at all times our marriage wouldn’t have lasted the six years it did.” Trina

 

You are so right. I thought 50/50 was the way to go but soon learned it wasn’t enough and that is what killed my marriage. When my husband wasn’t giving his all I didn’t want to give mine either…” Jaynell

“This is something couples don’t understand. Me and my husband have been married for 27 years and it is hard work. My husband lost his job a year ago and I think if our relationship wasn’t so strong we would not have made it. In today’s materialistic society most women would not have been able to pick-up the slack for this long.” Lauren

 

Next we had First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage Then Comes ____ Pushing A Baby Carriage, which touched on bringing a baby into a struggling marriage and how infidelity affects children.

 

In this day and age why would a woman be so stupid as to think having a baby is going to keep a man home?” Lena

 

This is nothing new, I remember my dad taking me around his other woman. I loved my dad and didn’t want to upset my mom. It was tough being caught in the middle.” Tomeka

 

“Kids know what is going on, they are smarter than we think. If your man is cheating don’t stay for the kids just do what is best for you and them. If your mate doesn’t want to stop then you have to leave.” Tina

 

Part III was Marriage…Life Commitment or Life Sentence? I was surprised by the number of men who had something to say on this topic. One guy on one of my Ning sites actually sent me a picture of a man behind bars. Talk about a picture speaking a thousand words.

 

“I would have to say life sentence. It’s not that easy to leave especially if kids are involved. If it were I would have been left.” Darryl

 

“Both, you have to be committed to stay but it does feel like a life sentence when you want to leave but also want to make it work. I’ve been married almost twenty years and don’t want to start over. I guess we’ve become our parents.” Charles

 

On to Part IV, Maybe Your Spouse Just Isn’t That Into You this had to be the most intense blog in the series. Many women believe that if a man stays in a relationship he has to be into her in some way, or he would leave.

“That’s bullsh%^. If my man isn’t into me he can just leave, no reason to stay.” Belinda

 

“I disagree. A man may not be happy at home but something is keeping him there. If he was to be honest he loves his wife he just doesn’t know how to get what he wants from her.” Lenay

 

“This is a lie that some women want to believe to justify being with another woman’s husband. I am going to have to pick-up this book because these postings are off the chain.” Ann

Who Is She And What Is She To You, touched on whether or not a woman knows her man is cheating and what she plans to do about it. This was the most surprising response:

 

“I would stay there and make his life a living hell.” Dondria

 

“I knew my husband was cheating I just didn’t know it was with someone I knew. We are still together but it took a lot of forgiving on my part. When I finally figured it out I felt like such a fool.” Lenora

 

You Call Her Bytch, Ho, Slut and Worse, But What Does He Call Her, pretty much spoke for itself.

“And a whole lot worse is right. I don’t care what he calls her, it doesn’t change what I think about this type of woman.” Shavone

 

“Women need to recognize because you spoke the truth here. I lost my sister when her husband flipped out when the girl he was cheating with wanted to leave. He killed everybody. It is crazy for people to cheat when they can just leave. If he wanted this woman so bad why couldn’t he just leave my sister? But he wanted his cake and eat it to.” Sonja

 

Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day affects readers differently. It evokes emotions and gives you something to think about. It is the setting for the perfect storm. Lives become intertwined and caught-up in a raging whirlwind when one man is unable to control his desire for women, other than his wife. A wife who feels she is powerless in taming her husbands bad behavior. A mistress who wants to believe beyond all hope that he will leave his unhappy home for the love she is offering. But like most storms they don’t stay stationery and the aftermath can be devastating. Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day will have you hooked from page one until the explosive ending that no one sees coming. Get your copy today and see just how unlike snow in Florida really is. Yours today for the low price of $14.95.

 

Tracy L. Darity is the author of the Multicultural Advocacy Literary Groups Living In Color Award for 2009 Best New Author, for her debut novel He Loves Me He Loves Me Not!

You Call Her Bytch, Ho, Slut, and Worse, But What Does He Call Her

Posted on May 3, 2010 at 1:41 PM Comments comments (0)

Your mate is cheating, you’ve learned her identity, and your first thought is, this low-down, nasty, trick, is screwing my man because she doesn’t have what it takes to get her own man. She has no self-esteem, and lacks self-respect. Your girls are pumping you up, “yeah, she’s a skank, a whore, and you are so much more than she’ll ever be.” The conversations or “war-counsels” as men put it, are an open forum for the pinned up anguish and animosity you are felling, but what are you going to do besides name-calling?

  

It is common for women to react this way when they learn another woman is involved with their mate. But do you ever wonder what he thinks of her and what adjectives your mate uses to describe his chick on the side. Those words could very well determine if you and he can survive his infidelity.

  

Of course, he probably would never say to you what he is truly feeling, especially if you are spewing these words in the heat of battle, but if you could be the proverbial fly on the wall, you may be amazed at what you would hear. Not all men who cheat do so for the obvious, which is freaky sex. Even if that is his reason, his descriptions still may not equal yours. Whether it’s the couple on Maury, a popular politician, a well-known celebrity, or the guy next door, you never hear them say rude or crass remarks about the other woman. For some reason no one wants to acknowledge that when affairs take place, the parties involved develop feelings, and those feelings are sometimes deeper than the ones he shares with his spouse.

  

In Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day, LaDamien, the husband, often professes his love for Mya, his mistress. Kim, LaDamien’s wife, is unable to reconcile that her husband feels anything for the woman he is cheating with. Even when Kim strays herself and falls for another man, she is unable to relate her feelings for her new lover, with those her husband is having for his mistress. Could this be because men are deemed as cold, heartless, and unfeeling, while women are considered as caring, nurturing, and unable to detach their emotions when dealing with others?

 

If you know your mate is being unfaithful, would you take the challenge and ask them to be open and honest and write down three words to best describe what he is feeling for the other woman? Would you be surprised to learn that those words do not match the ones you use? Is it possible that those three words fill in the blanks of the things that you aren’t to him? Once the exercise is over, what would you be willing to do to make sure your mate knew he had those things in you, his wife, and doesn’t need to go in search of what is already there in you?

 

Now I am not saying that all the things you are feeling about the other woman aren’t true or justified but the bottom line is, what is taking place in your relationship really isn’t about her, but about you and your mate. LaDamien and Kim never addressed each others infidelity and their problems only progressed. Regardless of what LaDamien felt for Mya, or Kim felt for her lover, it was all secondary to what they felt for each other. Affairs do not work themselves out, they do not go away if you ignore them, and the negative energy exerted in name calling and animosity towards the other woman does not bring your husband closer to you.

Excerpts: Love...Like Snow In Florida On A ot Summer Day

  

LaDamien

 

Mya and I are on International Drive in Orlando when Kim calls. She is telling me about her friend Debra and Debra’s husband Todd. When Kim finishes she holds the phone not speaking. I look at Mya and roll my eyes upward. She chuckles. We know this is Kim’s way of trying to figure out if I am alone. You would think that after all this time she would know that it isn’t going to work, but time after time she does it.

  

Like Debra and Karen are to Kim, Mya is my best friend. No matter what we go through or how bad things get between us, and we have had our share of bad times, like the trip to Miami that ended in disaster, she is the person I trust with my deepest thoughts. We haven’t fully recovered from that weekend and things have been tense, but she is still here and that’s enough for me. Aside from the drama, she is the person I call first with news, good or bad. She is who I roll my ideas off of, and lately she is the person whose opinion I seek when I need advice, personal or professional. That is one of the things I always loved about her, we can debate an issue for hours and in the end agree to disagree. When I am upset she has a way of moving us from the topic back to the place where only our love for each other matters. So when I end the call with Kim I turn to her and share the latest on Debra and Todd. She shakes her head, and displays a look of disbelief.

 

“Well they say birds of a feather flock together. No wonder Kim is so passive towards your infidelity. She is hanging with people who think like she does.” I ask her what she means by this and she does not hesitate to expound on her comment.

 

KIM

TayJohn feels so good inside of me. His large hands are exploring my backside as I ride him into ecstasy.

 

“Kim, you feel so good,” he says over and over and over again. The harder we grind the deeper I want him to be inside of me.

 

His lovemaking is so paced that it drives me mad. He tells me not to rush but to savor every second but by the time we are able to be together my body is fiending like a crack addict.

 

I try telling myself that we have a lifetime ahead of us, that I can relax and enjoy the moment. But deep down inside I know this isn’t quite true. Each and every second we are together is moments I am stealing from my marriage, from my daughter, and from my husband. I try to shake off the feelings of guilt plaguing my mind, leaving me wondering if these types of thoughts ever enter LaDamien’s mind when he is with other women.

“Earth to Kim,” TayJohn says. “Where’re you at baby?”

 

“Trust me, I’m right here,” I say as I place kisses on his hairy chest. “And here, and here,” sliding down the length of his body. “And here,” taking his shaft deep into my mouth. TayJohn is shivering which moves me to please him more and more.

 

Hours later as I am preparing to head home TayJohn asks me to sit down for a little talk. “So is this all we have, stolen moments, afternoon sex, and then lounging in front of the television?” He asks me this as he runs his fingers through my micro-braids, one of the many changes he has inspired in me. “I don’t want you to think this is only about sex for me.”

 

To be perfectly honest, it never occurred to me that he wanted more. The notion that I could offer him more is frightening. Infidelity is so easy. Here I am with a man who is not my husband, having walked out of the house this morning under the pretense of going to a study group and then shopping with my friends. There wasn’t a hint of guilt in my voice as I told LaDamien the lie. He may or may not have believed me. To him it may have simply been one less lie he had to tell in order to be with Mya. Could I be turning into my cheating husband? Does this put me on the same level as him?

  

Tracy L. Darity is the author of the Multicultural Advocacy Literary Groups Living In Color Award  for 2009 Best New Author, for her debut novel He Loves Me He Loves Me Not! She is also the author of the steamy, yet thought-provoking new release, Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day. The above blog is part VI of the Love… series. Click the links below to read the previous entries.

  

Part I – Are You And Your Mate Keeping It 100?

Part II – First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage Then Comes ____ Pushing A Baby Carriage

Part III – Marriage….Life Commitment or Life Sentence

Part IV - Maybe Your Spouse Just Isn't That Into You

Part V - Who Is She And What Is She To You

 

Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day is causing readers to take pause and reflect over their own relationships. This controversial novel about three lives that become intertwined when LaDamien Bryson, who is married, is faced with whether or not to stay in a marriage that he long ago realized was a mistake, or pursue the love of a woman he believes to be his soul-mate. His inability to choose one over the other sends all of their lives into a whirlwind with ramifications that can cost him a whole lot more than their love.

 

To take a peek inside, see book trailers, or learn more about Tracy L. Darity, please visit www.TracyLDarity.com; www.TracyLDarity.ning.com; or connect with the author on Facebook and Twitter.

Who Is She And What Is She To You

Posted on April 20, 2010 at 10:26 PM Comments comments (0)

“That girl we past just tried to stare me down and when I looked at you you looked at the ground now I don’t know who she is but I think you do dat gummit who is she and what is she to you…

 

Something in my heart and something in your eye tells me she’s not just someone passing by and when you cleared your throat was that supposed to be your que….”

 

Remember that oldie, Who Is She and What Is She to You, originally done by the Three Degrees? How many women have asked their mate that very question? Call it women’s intuition or a sixth sense, but most of us know when another woman has made a connection with our man.

How many times have you sat around with you girlfriends and recalled that moment when you just didn’t think something was right with a particular female, only to find out she was sleeping with your man. What’s so unfair is that she probably knows without a doubt who you are and everything about you, but you have to rely on instincts to figure out who she is and what she means to your man.

 

Once you’ve figured out that there is someone else beating your time, what do you do next? Do you confront him, confront her, or just sit back and watch things unfold; losing valuable time in saving your relationship, if it can be saved. Believe it or not, your man recognizes the moment that you figured it out. Your total body language changes when she comes around, you start asking questions that you never asked before, or with most women you probably start making snide remarks about her. The more you learn about this woman the more negative your body language and comments become.

 

The biggest mistake comes when you choose to observe things to be sure; looking for that one thing that confirms your suspicions. By not presenting him with what you are feeling (and deep inside know to be true) you give him the impression that you are willing to turn the other way while he does his dirt.

 

Love..Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day is a story about infidelity to the nth degree. LaDamien Bryson, the husband, openly and freely carries on a full-fledge relationship with his mistress Mya Blake. Kim, LaDamien’s wife has heard the rumors and knows in her heart that her husband is carrying on a relationship with another woman. Instead of laying her cards on the table she forfeits her stance, as the wife, and tries to manipulate her husband into re-engaging in their marriage. Why would a wife ever feel that she is in competition with the other woman? Not only is it crazy but it only strokes the male ego and place him higher on his self-made pedestal.

 

Following is excepts from Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day:

 

Kim

 

LaDamien’s body language is screaming that he is lying. He is talking fast as he recites the lie he is laying out to me. He is going on a business trip to meet the guy Barry he told me he and Mark met a few months back at one of those networking events. Barry has invited them to attend a function down in Naples that will expose them to some new contacts. The event will not end until late so they will stay the night. I know it is a lie because he has offered it to me in a gift box with a pretty bow on top. He has gone overboard to ensure I understand it is a business trip and nothing for me to worry about. Plus, he knows my quarterly business meeting is tomorrow and I will not be able to take off or leave early to join him.

 

It is Friday morning and I need to get going but I do not want to leave because I know LaDamien is up to no good. I can’t put leaving off any longer so I say goodbye and lead Ariel out to the car. LaDamien follows us out to the garage and kisses us both, goodbye. He reminds me again that he is leaving for Naples around three and will not be back until tomorrow. He is being too accommodating, and I am convinced more than ever that he is lying. “Maybe we can have lunch,” I suggest. He quickly shoots me down. He has to drive over to Venice to view a property. As a matter of fact, he may just continue on to Naples from Venice, instead of returning home. My heart aches.

 

After dropping Ariel off at school, I head home instead of merging on to the interstate. LaDamien’s Cadillac Escalade is still in the garage. He has just stepped out of the shower when I reach our bedroom. “What are you doing back here?” he asks me.

 

The excuse I use is I forgot the reports I was working on. “It is part of my presentation for today’s meeting.” To waste time, I ask him more about Barry and what type of contacts he is looking to make at this function. He is becoming annoyed by my questions and continues to veer over at the clock. His cell phone, which is lying next to his overnight bag, is lighting up, indicating that a call is coming in. He picks the phone up and rejects the call, and then presses the end button a little longer than necessary and the phone shuts off.

LaDamien steps to me and begins running his hands along my hips, sliding my skirt up. He pushes me up against the dresser as he pulls my pantyhose, girdle and panties down. I brace his shoulders as he enters me. He is asking me if I am scared he’s going to give my dick away. If this is why I have returned? I want to scream yes, but instead I say, “No, I really did leave my report but I’m glad I came back.”

 

Mya

 

He jokes, “You’ve seen me for three days straight. Anymore and we would be considered husband and wife.”

 

“What would be wrong with that?”

 

...He replies, “Nothing, except you don’t want to be married to me.” I shake my head, kiss him on the cheek and enter my car. Again, I have the urge to follow him but do not want to slide down that path. Reminded of our situation, of the fact that he belongs to someone else and if I were to catch him in a lie, what would it matter because this whole relationship is a lie, I head home.

 

It is eleven a.m. and traffic is at a crawl. I was making good time along I-4 until I reached Lakeland. My fear is there has been a bad accident and I’m concerned I won’t make it to work by one p.m. as I had promised. Traffic inched along slowly for the next ten miles, and when I approached exit twenty-five I finally saw that the hold-up was not an accident going westbound, but a wreck in the eastbound lanes. The delay on my side of the highway was due to onlookers. We crept along until I was finally even with the wreckage. An older model Isuzi Rodeo was overturned in the median and a yellow sheet lay on the ground close by. Someone was pinned beneath the vehicle and that someone was dead. My natural reaction is to say a little prayer for the victims soul, and for the family that was about to get the awful news. My eyes open to witness another shocker, Kim and Ariel were sitting in her Mercedes Benz, impatiently waiting their turn to maneuver past the emergency vehicles that were blocking the inside lane. I was staring so hard I must have come to a complete stop because the vehicle behind me tapped its horn. I gently pressed the gas and eased forward. It may have been my imagination but I swear Kim looked straight at me with a look of total disbelief. We both lifted our cell phones at the same time. My call went to voice mail, while hers appeared to have been answered.

 

Tracy L. Darity is the author of the Multicultural Advocacy Literary Groups Living In Color Award  for 2009 Best New Author, for her debut novel He Loves Me He Loves Me Not! She is also the author of the steamy, yet thought-provoking new release, Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day. The above blog is part V of the Love… series. Click the links below to read the previous entries.

  

Part I – Are You And Your Mate Keeping It 100?

Part II – First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage Then Comes ____ Pushing A Baby Carriage

Part III – Marriage….Life Commitment or Life Sentence

Part IV - Maybe Your Spouse Just Isn't That Into You

 

Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day is causing readers to take pause and reflect over their own relationships. This controversial novel about three lives that become intertwined when LaDamien Bryson, who is married, is faced with whether or not to stay in a marriage that he long ago realized was a mistake, or pursue the love of a woman he believes to be his soul-mate. His inability to choose one over the other sends all of their lives into a whirlwind with ramifications that can cost him a whole lot more than their love.

 

To take a peek inside, see book trailers, or learn more about Tracy L. Darity, please visit www.TracyLDarity.com; www.TracyLDarity.ning.com; or connect with the author on Facebook and Twitter.

Maybe Your Spouse Just Isn't That Into You

Posted on April 16, 2010 at 3:10 PM Comments comments (0)

You’ve gotten a new hairdo, bought some new clothes, rushing home each day to cook his favorite meals, even started cleaning up the place. He’s staying home more, fixing those things you’ve been complaining about, he’s even agreed to date night. But what happens when it’s still not enough? Maybe it’s time to consider that your mate just isn't that into you.

 

Week after week, the pastor at church drills into the minds or married couples that they have to do whatever it takes to keep their marriage together. Your vows said, “until death you do part.” You’ve made a covenant with God and covenants should not be broken. Family is stepping in to do their part. They agree to watch the kids so you two can get away. They are involving you more in their social outings and encouraging you to do more as a couple. Still, the spark you need just isn’t there.

 

What happens when one spouse wants it to work at all cost and the other isn’t committed to the success of the relationship? What about the couple that is simply staying together for the sake of appearances, holding up the lie they have created. Those looking in from the outside see you two as the perfect couple with all the trimmings and envy what you have. But if walls could talk they'd know it was all just a mirage.

 

Are you and your mate together for all the right reasons? Or is it more a joining of convenience? Were you down and out when he or she came along and picked you up? Did you two compare your stats and decide you look good on paper? Did casual sex lead to an unwanted pregnancy and he decided to “do the right thing?” Or could it be that like LaDamien Bryson, in my novel Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day, you felt like time was running out and it was time to settle down?

 

People get married for a lot of reasons but I am of the opinion that if true love doesn’t top that list, you are headed for major trouble. Two people must have a mutual like, (unconditional) love, and respect for one another if they are going to be totally vested for the long haul. Can you imagine waking up everyday next to someone you don’t like as a person? Where is your motivation as you go through your day working hard to provide a happy and stable home for someone you don’t really love? And at the end of the day, how hard must it be to return to a house and realize that the last thing you want is to be touched, spoken to, or lay down with someone you despise.

 

Relationships can be like a job you have grown to hate, once people acknowledge they do not like their job, their co-workers, etc, they begin to mentally check-out. They no longer give 100%, they do not care if anyone is happy with their work, and they begin to find excuses for why they can’t show-up like they are supposed to. When your mate is no longer feeling you, they begin to treat you like that job. They continue to give just enough to get by but all along they are wishing and hoping for something better. And like most people who want to make a change professionally, it is usually that leap of faith that keeps them firmly planted in a miserable situation. In most cases, they become distant and miserable and infect those around them with that same misery, or they create an impossible situation forcing drastic actions from others.

 

Some mental health professionals believe that allowing yourself to stay in an unstable and unhappy home can lead to depression. You lose your direction, your motivation, and your self-esteem takes a nose-dive. People also find other coping mechanisms to replace the love missing in their marriages/relationships. These coping mechanisms can range from a hobby, excessive spending, affairs, drinking, and other behaviors that can do more harm than good. Whatever the chosen distraction, it only eases the pain but does not address the real problem, which is, your mate just isn’t that into you, and you need to figure out what to do about it.

 

Bonnie Raitt has a song, that was also recorded by Boyz II Men (and a few others), titled I Can’t Make You Love Me. In this song, the singer is in love with someone who has made it evident that they just aren’t into this person. The singer pleads for just one night to prove their love and if in the morning the other person hasn’t figured out how to love them back, they will just walk away. So my question to you is, if your mate isn’t that into you and you’ve done all you can do to make them love you, what are you willing to do to get the love that you deserve, even if it means walking away?

 

Tracy L. Darity is the author of the 2009 Living In Color Literary Award for Best New Author, for her debut novel He Loves Me He Loves Me Not! She is also the author of the steamy, yet thought-provoking new release, Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day. The above blog is part IV of the Love… series. Click the links below to read the previous entries.

 

Part I – Are You And Your Mate Keeping It 100?

Part II – First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage Then Comes ____ Pushing A Baby Carriage

Part III – Marriage….Life Commitment or Life Sentence

 

Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day is causing readers to take pause and reflect over their own relationships. This controversial novel about three lives that become intertwined when LaDamien Bryson, who is married, is faced with whether or not to stay in a marriage that he long ago realized was a mistake, or pursue the love of a woman he believes to be his soul-mate. His inability to choose one over the other sends all of their lives into a whirlwind with ramifications that can cost him a whole lot more than their love.

 

To take a peek inside, see book trailers, or learn more about Tracy L. Darity, please visit www.TracyLDarity.com; www.TracyLDarity.ning.com; or connect with the author on Facebook and Twitter.

Marriage... Life Commitment or Life Sentence

Posted on April 14, 2010 at 2:30 PM Comments comments (0)

The lavish wedding is over, the honeymoon was a great success, and the family is settling nicely into the new home on the cul-de-sac. It’s Saturday afternoon and you’re out with the girls for a day of shopping and a late lunch when one of your friends states she has learned her husband has been caught cheating for the second time in as many years. Everyone offers their regrets for the pain she is going through. As you look to each other for words of encouragement to give the friend, your heart is racing because you have your own drama at home that you are experiencing.

 

Every direction we turn there is news of infidelity, abuse, murder/suicides, and statistics on failed marriages. Nowadays it is rare to attend a wedding ceremony where traditional vows are exchanged. It is as if the couples have already decided that there will be no having, holding, cherishing, standing by each other through sickness, or in health, till death they do part. What is even more frightening is that a lot of couples who experience marital strife don’t try to fix what is wrong but choose to live in misery for years before one or both decide it is time to move on.

 

If you learned today that your spouse was having an affair, you would be hurt, even devastated. You may confront him (or her) with what you consider the fact, but then what. Do you except their explanation for what you think you saw or heard, do you demand that they put an end to the affair, or do you suggest counseling? What is the next step in removing this cancer from your relationship?

 

Once both parties have acknowledged that there is a problem in the marriage and have given it a name, i.e. affair, abuse, money, etc, the next step is to have open communication about it. Both parties must understand their part in the problem and be willing to be a part of the solution. Without both spouses willing to reverse the damage, there can be no reconciliation.

 

In any life experience, once we have a negative experience it is hard to forget. However, to move forward, we must forgive. I hear people say all the time, “I will forgive but I will never forget.” I believe by refusing to forget, you can never truly forgive. By not forgetting you allow a constant reminder to take residence on the surface and that reminder will always have you on high alert.

 

Surviving issues in a marriage is always possible, especially if you both want to work for the good of the marriage. Life is full of trials and tests. They come only to make us stronger. A couple determined to stay together (Hhmm, got me wanting to hear some Al Green), will do what is necessary to do just that. But what about the couple who isn’t? It always amazes me when I hear women say, “If I caught my husband cheating I would stay just to make his life a living hell.” Excuse me, but negativity breeds negativity, so if you are making his life a living hell, aren’t you also making yours one too. And then there are men who are not happy in their marriage but decide to stay because, “it’s cheaper to keep her,” or “I know what I have at home already, and I’m too afraid to take a chance on something new.” I always thought peace of mind was priceless. And what if you came home one day and she had moved out, wouldn’t you have to take a chance on something new?

 

Personally, I can’t even imagine living in an unhappy home. The same energy that is being exhausted in a lifeless marriage is the same energy that could be used in working to save that marriage. When two people say “I Do” that should be making a vow to do whatever it takes to love each other, take care of each other, and support each other, for the rest of their lives. Once you stop trying and begin just living in a shared space, you have commuted your marital bliss to a life sentence, and are now living each day in a six by six cell hoping the other person will one day grant you parole.

 

Tracy L. Darity is the author of He Loves Me He Loves Me Not! and Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day. Click links to learn more. The above blog is part III of her Love… series.

 

Part I – Are You And Your Mate Keeping It 100?

Part II – First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage Then Comes ____ Pushing A Baby Carriage

 

Excerpt from Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day

 

LaDamien

 

Next Friday will mark two years since Mya and I began seeing each other. It’s hard to believe it’s only been two years because she has become such a constant in my life. Lately, I have been feeling like letting Mya go, but that will never be an option. I just can’t see my life without her in it. Recently, I did a foolish thing that potentially could have cost me her love, and I must admit that things have changed between us since that day. It seems we have weathered the storm, although my actions continue to taunt me.

 

A few months ago I made the decision to leave Kim. My inability to stand strong and follow my heart has been eating at my core being ever since I failed to follow through on my plans. For some reason I couldn’t bring myself to say the words.

 

It was all worked out in my mind and on paper. I would pay off the mortgage on the house and the note on Kim’s car, leaving her with no large debts to worry about. On top of that, I would give her a cash settlement to help her transition into her new life, no longer being dependent on me to pay for everything. My decision was made after visiting my cousin Rob who had recently divorced. I poured my heart out even going so far as to tell him about my affair with Mya. In the end, Rob couldn’t tell me if I should stay or if I should leave Kim, but instead told me to follow my heart and do what would make my life better in the long run. He told me it wouldn’t be easy and I would second guess myself a million times. “Just give it a lot of thought, don’t have false expectations and most important, don’t do it for Mya but do it because it is the right thing for all parties involved to be at peace.”

 

A week after my talk with Rob my mind was made up. I would ask Kim for a divorce. The night I was to put my plan into action I called Mya to let her know. “Make sure you are near the phone and be prepared for me to stay with you a few days if things get too ugly.”

 

The reservation in her voice was ubiquitous, but being classic Mya, she stayed positive and encouraging. As I look back on the conversation it may have been her reserved behavior that caused me to pause and question what I was really about to do. A hundred times, I asked myself, what if I left my wife and Mya had no interest in marrying me? People would think I was such a fool, and they would make me the butt of many jokes, plus things between Kim and I would be ruined. Then I thought about Mark, he had made the decision to dissolve our partnership. This brought added pressure and had me worried about the ramifications of my decision. What if things did not work out for me and my solo venture failed? Kim has a lucrative position that pays well. I would need to rely on her income until I worked things out. What if I needed to take out a loan for my business, her income would boost my rating. What if I became ill? Our family is insured through her employer. And the house, it too could come into play if things didn’t go as planned. There was just so much to be considered that could prove this a bad decision.  By the time I arrived home and settled down I had completely talked myself out of it.

 

Kim

 

I am looking across the table at TayJohn, spilling my guts about my marriage, my husband, and that bitch he can’t seem to let go. His expression is blank. He is either in shock or thinks I am the biggest idiot he has ever met. We ended up here at the Rare Olive in downtown St. Petersburg, a bar on the corner of Central Avenue and third street, after I broke down at the office.

 

TayJohn caught me coming out of the ladies room located in an obscure part of the building. It was on the same floor as his office but at the back of the building in an area that was used mainly for storage. Thinking I was eluding others I took the back elevator down but ended up walking right into him.

 

“You all right?” he asked the second he laid eyes on me. As bad as I wanted to say yes, I couldn’t. LaDamien had been in rare form lately and it had finally come to a head the night before. He stormed out of the house the way he usually did when he did not want to face a problem head on but I wasn’t content riding out his temper tantrum so I called him today to pick-up where we had left off.

 

Calling from work and not waiting until we were at home was a bad idea. The things he said to me on that call were unthinkable and I could hardly believe they were coming from his mouth, but my ears were not deceiving me, it was my husband on the other end of the line and he was yelling as loud as he could that he regretted the day he ever met me and marrying me was the biggest mistake of his life.

 

We were standing near an empty office, so TayJohn led me inside and closed the door. “Are you okay, what’s going on?” he was almost pleading for an answer….

 

….. He was right. He was a great listener because he didn’t utter a word while I was talking, not even when he signaled to the bartender to bring us a refill. “We’ve been married for eight years now and I don’t believe we’ve gone more than three or four months where I felt like I’ve had my husband all to myself. His nephew came to live with us and I thought for sure this would be a positive move, but instead he’s teaching his nephew to be as trifling and deceitful as he is.

 

Dexter, his nephew, lies and covers for my husband. He even has my daughter covering for him. While I was in Baltimore on business he left my child with some woman, in our home. The description my daughter gives of the woman makes me believe it is Faye. Could he be that deceitful, and lowdown, he won’t admit it and when I bring it up he flies off the handle and goes into an uncontrollable rage. I brought it up again last night and I actually thought he was going to hit me.”

 

Three hours had passed and every second was filled with the insanity I call my marriage. I needed him to say something, anything, to give me a feel for what he was thinking about me. He had to be wondering how a woman with my educational and professional credentials could end up in a relationship full of ignorant ghetto drama.

 

“Please don’t repeat anything I said to you tonight to anyone. You are the only person I have confided any of this too, not even my closest friends know the hell I am living in.”

 

“Wow, you’re still there so you must not be tired yet,” he chuckled. “Do you want my honest opinion or are you just relieved to finally have someone you could unload this burden on? I think you’re the first woman I have ever heard of who didn’t run and tell her girlfriends every detail of her relationship. Maybe that’s why you’ve stayed so long.”

 

I pondered over what he’d just said. Truth was I had no idea why I stayed with LaDamien. Maybe I just didn’t want to be alone, especially with my mother gone. He and Ariel are my family, and I didn’t know how to move on.

 

For purchasing information visit www.tracyldarity.com or www.amazon.com.

Click here to peek inside this both books.

First Comes Love Then Comes Marriage Then Comes _____ Pushing A baby Carriage

Posted on April 13, 2010 at 12:04 PM Comments comments (0)

Jack and Jill sitting in a tree, k.i.s.s.i.n.g. first comes love then comes marriage then comes Jill pushing a baby carriage… Remember that little game we use to play when we were just kids and having a crush on some boy? I can’t count the number of names I could use to fill-in the blank on that one.

 

In the world of reality TV there is a show that airs on MTV called 16 and Pregnant. The show features teenage girls who have become pregnant and the struggles they face being pregnant at such an early age. Their decision to keep the baby not only affects their life but that of the teen father, and both of their families. It is hard for a young girl who has not experienced life herself to face such an enormous decision, and when the boy bails on her the show becomes that much more heart-wrenching. But you know what, it isn’t just teen boys who bail on the mothers of their children; grown men do it also. Some may walk away, while others leave emotionally, choosing to stay in the relationship physically but vacate mentally.

 

Can you imagine being in love with a man, the two of you get married, and then you decide to have a baby, only to learn your husband isn’t the husband/father you thought he would be? What do you do? Do you force him to step up to the plate and take responsibility; do you say forget this because I can do bad all by myself; or do you try to make the best of a bad situation? So many times I hear people say that they stay in failing relationships for the sake of the children. Actually, this seems to be reason #2, behind finances, as the reason people stay in unhappy marriages. Neither spouse seems to realize that staying together for the sake of the kids can do more damage than if they just parted ways.

 

Most afternoons you can find me listening to The Michael Baisden Show, which is on my list of things I “love to hate.” One topic that he covers on a regular basis is kids who know their parents are cheating/having affairs. He opens the phone lines and allows kids to call in and discuss how it makes them feel knowing that one or both parents are being unfaithful. Child after child calls in to describe the, who, what, when, where, and how of their (most often) fathers infidelity. And in most cases, the child states (s)he would prefer if the cheater just moved on. I am always curious as to how the children always seem to know about the affair, but when Michael does similar shows about cheating spouses, the wife (in most cases) calls in to say she had no clue…Hhmmm.

 

In my novel, Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day, Kim, the wife, knows her husband is having an affair but instead of facing the problem head on, she chooses to get pregnant in an attempt to keep him home. This tactic only works temporarily. As the years go on, the residuals of their broken marriage shows up in their daughters’ behavior. It is a proven fact that children are directly affected by their home environment. If a parent abuses drugs or is an alcoholic, chances are the children will become addicts. If a boy sees his father beating his mother, chances are he will grow-up to become abusive. And a girl witnessing her mother being abused may become a victim of abuse in her relationships. With this being the case, how does infidelity affect children who are raised in that type of environment?

 

According to studies, the effects of adultery on children can range from a child becoming isolated from one or both parents, to serious depression and withdrawal. However, it has also been found that older kids do not see it as such a big deal, as a younger child might. Reactions can be delayed until the child becomes an adult and enters into a serious relationship. At this point, trusting their partner can be a major issue. I think we all can agree that affairs are a very selfish act, and often times is more about fulfilling internal needs and less about the other people who are affected by the affair. I will venture to guess that most people who have affairs rarely, if ever, consider their children until it is too late. And even then, both spouses are more likely to use the children as a reason to stay together than to part ways, which can be a catch 22, if the cheating spouse sees this as consent to continue doing what they are doing because their will be no repercussions.

 

The above blog is Part II in the Love… series. Click her to check-out Part I – Are You And Your Mate Keeping It 100?

 

Excerpt from Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day

 

LaDamien

 

…“Did you leave Ariel here alone?” I ask in an annoyed tone.

 

“Ariel is asleep, like you and I should be. Why would you leave this house and go be with that ho? I should have packed your shit and took it over there since that’s where you wish to be.” Kim brushed past me, headed inside and pulled the door shut in my face.

 

Two weeks have passed and Kim continues to give me the cold shoulder. It takes a call from Ariel’s school to get us to talk to one another. A conference has been scheduled to discuss our daughters’ behavior. According to her teachers Ariel has been blatantly disrespectful to them, refusing to do her work and talking back. Kim has no qualms about placing the blame on me.

 

“You think you can just run the streets not paying any attention to us and she not feel there’s some sort of disconnect between us.”

 

Who was she to talk when every time I turn around Ariel is with Debra?

 

“I think we both could do a little better. There’s no need to point fingers we just need to get her back on track.” Kim sucks her teeth loud enough for me to get the point. She is not going to bare any of the blame. Everything is my fault, as usual.

 

“Family counseling,” this is what Mrs. Fitzpatrick, the principal at Ariel’s school suggested. Ariel is concerned that Kim and I are headed for divorce. She confided in one of her teachers that I am rarely home and when I am, all her mom and I do is argue.

 

Kim has set this up perfectly. I am not sure what she is feeding my daughter but when we get home I am going to let her know that I do not appreciate her antics.

 

I watch as she gleefully accepts the information on the counselor Mrs. Fitzpatrick recommended. “Whatever is going on, Dr. Sampson can assist you with. He is the best in this area.”

 

“So is this what you had up your sleeve all along? To send Ariel in there telling our business so you can get us into counseling.”

 

We were barely out of the school office when I lit into Kim. She ignored me and continued in a hurried pace to her car. She claimed to have an important meeting that she could not cancel, leaving me to take Ariel home. Her teacher had walked her back to class to gather her things so I followed Kim to her car.

 

“I’m not going to counseling so don’t even bother scheduling an appointment.”

 

“Fine LaDamien, I’ll just let them know it will be Ariel and I, since my husband, her father, could give less than a damn about our family. Now get out of my way.” Kim slammed the car door and pulled off missing my foot by inches. I let out a deep sigh, thinking, my wife has lost her mind.

 

Tracy L. Darity is the author of the award-winning He Loves Me He Loves Me Not! and her second release Love…Like Snow In Florida on A Hot Summer Day. For additional information visit www.TracyLDarity.com. To take a peek inside both books and view video book trailers, click here.

Are You And Your Mate Keeping It 100?

Posted on April 10, 2010 at 7:57 PM Comments comments (0)

Growing up, math was my worst subject. I hated it so much that I gave 100% at all times, so I wouldn’t have to repeat it. I didn’t make the best grades but I passed the classes and earned the credits. Yet, my strongest traits are finances and analytics. For eleven years I held a position where I was responsible for millions of dollars in revenue for a city municipality. Each month, no later than the fifth, I had to submit a general ledger to the City’s accounting department for accounts receivables to major corporations and city employees that utilized my departments’ services. The ledger had to be balanced down to the penny and there were months where I poured blood, sweat, and tears into that ledger because I was off by one or two cents. There were times when I wanted to cheat and fudge the numbers but I have too much integrity for that. Plus, I love a good challenge and more so, the satisfaction of overcoming obstacles. Besides, fudging numbers does not really make the books whole, you will still have a deficit that more than likely will increase over time.

 

Relationships remind me of that general ledger; the couple must remain whole or 100 percent at all times. No faking, no falsehoods, just real through and through. One of my favorite poems is Celebration by Mari Evans. In the poem she writes:

I will be bringing you someone whole

and you will be bringing me someone whole

and we be twice as strong

and we be twice as true

and we will have twice as much

of love

and everything

How many of us have been told that for a successful relationship both parties must bring 50% to the table, or meet each other halfway, or something similar? Well I believe that if we each bring 50% we are doomed to fail from the start. Once we meet each other halfway, how do we determine which way to go to reach our destination? Are you feeling me?

 

When I read Celebration I envision two people bringing 100% of themselves to the relationship, that way, if one isn’t doing well, together they are still whole and have enough to sustain the relationship through rough patches. Even if she’s temporarily at 70% and he’s temporarily at 70% they still have more than 100% together. The couple who is only bringing 50% each would have to maintain at that level all the time or else they would be less than whole as a couple. There will always be something missing from both sides. And how do you determine what part of you not to bring to the relationship? Chances are what you leave out is what you need most, to balance the situation; things like, respect, compassion, trust, empathy, and most important, unconditional love.

 

In my novel, Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day, LaDamien Bryson thinks all he needs in a wife is a woman who is smart, attractive, and will be a good mother to their children. When he chooses Kim Friar he only sees what looks good on paper. Kim sees LaDamien as many women see their potential mates. He’s fine, good looking, and with a little patience she can mold him into what she wants him to be. What they both fail to realize is that marriage requires a whole lot more. Had they taken the time to get to know each other they would have realized that they both had major deficiencies and once they met each other halfway, a major tug-of-war would ensue and they would remain at that intersection the better part of their marriage.

 

If you are in a relationship ask yourself if you are bringing 100 or 50, and then ask your mate the same thing. If the answer is equates to less than 100 each, it just may explain why your relationship seems to be a constant struggle and the two of you never seem to be on level ground. If your love for each other is real and you think your relationship is worth fighting for, it is time to shore up your accounts and get your ledger in balance.

 

Excerpts from Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day

 

 

LaDamien 

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Walking into the bedroom I can’t overlook Kim lying across the bed, a pint of Haagen-Dazs’ Butter Pecan ice cream and a pack of Oreo Double Stuff cookies next to her. The sight repulses me. She has gained a good fifty pounds in the five years we’ve been married. I use to want more children with her but I am terrified that if she becomes pregnant again she will reach a point of obesity that she will not be able to overcome.

 

“What are you doing, I thought we were going to visit my mom?”

 

It’s obvious she has no intentions of going with me. My mom lives alone in an assisted living facility. She is a resilient woman. Well into her eighties, she has suffered several, mild heart attacks, and the latest assault on her body, diabetes.

 

My eldest sister Veronica is retired from nursing and spends much of her time with our mother during the day, while I and my other three siblings rotate visiting in the evenings so she does not have to eat dinner alone.

 

Tonight is my turn. Kim has not accompanied me much lately. Since returning to school she has become distant and does not have time to focus on me or my needs. She is vying for the position of Vice President of Human Resources at her job. When the current VP told her in a sidebar conversation that she would be retiring in two years, Kim thought nothing of it. But as always, I had to encourage her to start preparing herself to be in contention for the position.

Kim rolls into an upright position, stuffs the lid into the empty container and folds the Oreo package in half. “Karen called. She wants to go to the movies and to have drinks. We’re meeting at five.”

 

It is almost impossible for me to contain the elation of knowing I will not have to come up with a lie to get out of the house without her. She has provided me with an out, although she has seen the ticket to the Celebrity Auction. It was in the glove compartment of my Cadillac Escalade. The vehicle she never drives unless she feels the need to snoop. The ticket was under the owner’s manual but when I checked earlier, it was on top. Her way of letting me know I am not being slick.

 

Kim rolls her eyes when I say I will be driving the Lexus Coupe to visit my mother, “Might as well wash it so it will be clean for the weekend.” I explain.

 

She does not say a word just heads towards the kitchen. Grabbing the keys I head to the garage without saying goodbye. When I return two hours later, Kim is gone. I shower and dress in my navy Armani suit, spray on my Calvin Klein Obsession, put on my Omega watch, and slide my wedding band into my pocket.

 

Kim    

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LaDamien has been different these past few days, the conspicuous signs that he has found another lover. My count stopped at four. They come and go so quickly, some for a few weeks and others for a few months. The longest was over a year. He was seeing her when he asked me to marry him. I was just getting out of a horrific relationship that left me penniless. My former lover had walked away leaving me to clean up the mess he had made. If it wasn’t bad enough that he had left me for a woman fresh out of high school, but he had wiped out our bank account in the process. Bill collectors were calling from sun up until sundown. There was no peace in my life, slowly, I was losing it. The shame from his betrayal led me to a self-imposed exile, unable to share the true extent of my situation with anyone. My mother had warned me against shacking, saying people were not meant to act like they were married when they weren’t.

 

LaDamien showed up at the right moment. I had all but given up. He assured me that things would be all right, “First thing you need to do is get your finances in order and take care of your outstanding debts,” he told me. After his pep talk he helped me to sell my house before the bank could foreclose, and assisted me in working out repayment plans with my creditors. Then he encouraged me to put my business degree to use, to go out on a limb and apply for positions I never imagined I would qualify to interview for, let alone actually get a callback on. My self esteem rose instantly, and my desire for him shot through the roof.

 

When he informed me of his decision to move to Houston, Texas, to join a friend who was doing well in real estate, I jumped at the opportunity to go with him. My friends thought I was crazy to up and quit when my career was just shifting into full swing. But they didn’t know the real reason I was ready to start anew in a fresh place with people we did not know…

 

… Debra and Karen, both married since graduating from college, would think I was crazy for sure, so I didn’t say it. I just told them that I thought LaDamien and I could have something special if he would just settle down. A month after that conversation LaDamien asked me to marry him. He came over one evening and asked if I wanted to do it. Three days later he picked me up for lunch and we went to the courthouse to get a marriage license. Afterwards, we drove to his place and there waiting was his sister Pamela and her husband, along with a friend of LaDamien’s who was also a minister. We were married right in his living room. It wasn’t exactly what I had hoped for but at least we were finally husband and wife.

 

I don’t know exactly what I thought was going to happen once we said, “I do.” We weren’t settled a good two weeks when LaDamien informed me his lease was up at the end of the month and he wasn’t renewing. This revelation came so quick that I felt I had no other choice but to go to my mother and ask her if we could live with her temporarily, until we could find our own place.

 

Going back to my mothers’ home yet again was embarrassing, but this time seemed worse.

 

Tracy L. Darity is the author of the award-winning “He Loves Me He Loves Me Not!” and her latest release “Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day.”  To take a peek inside of these phenomenal novels about love and relationships, click here, or visit www.TracyLDarity.com.

Meet The Characters of Love...Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day

Posted on March 27, 2010 at 12:20 AM Comments comments (0)

In this steamy novel by Tracy L. Darity, three lives collide when one man finds himself divided by his commitment to his wife and his desire for another woman. “Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day" is where Romeo & Juliet meets Desperate Housewives and Girlfriends. The three main characters are tormented by their desire to have and be loved; and their sense of knowing and doing what is right in the eyes of family, friends, and God.

 

The main players are:

(click here or each name to view video trailers)

 

Kim…the Wife:

Kim Friar Bryson, is an attractive woman who prides herself on her education and professional accomplishments. But her biggest achievement is landing LaDamien Bryson, a former athlete and local heartthrob. LaDamien enters her life during a rough patch and sweeps her off her feet. Kim ignores the warnings of her mother and close friends, and marries LaDamien. She believes if she can be the perfect wife any lingering residuals of his bachelor life will quickly fade.  It doesn’t take long for her to realize that she’s bitten off more than she can chew, but her love for LaDamien and the life he affords her overrides her better judgment and she vows to make the best of a bad situation. Kim believes she has experienced the worst of her husband’s infidelities until she learns a new threat has surfaced that not only tests the strength of her marriage but also her integrity as a woman and a wife.

 

LaDamien…the Husband:

LaDamien Bryson, handsome, smart, and successful; a self-made man that most women dream of calling their own. Despite his inability to be faithful in his past relationships, he believes he is at an age where he needs to settle down and start a family. When he asks Kim Friar for her hand in marriage, he is looking for a life-mate. A woman who will take care of home and be the mother of his children. His commitment to Kim is tested when he comes face-to-face with a woman he has desired for more years than he cares to remember.  Giving in to his guilty pleasure isn’t hard for a man with his tract record. But LaDamien has a deeper secret that could destroy everything he has built with Kim and cost him the love of a lifetime.

 

Mya…the Other Woman:

Mya Blake is living life to the fullest. She’s happily single without a care in the world. That is until she crosses paths with a handsome, smooth- talking brother she has admired from a distance. The only problem, he’s married. Mya knows it is wrong to enter into an adulterous affair with LaDamien but the future he promises is more than she is willing to resist.  It doesn’t take long for her to feel the effects of the decision she’s made, but her love for him overshadows her better judgment and what started out as an indiscretion turns into a full-fledged affair with severe implications so far-reaching that Mya finds herself caught-up in a situation she doesn’t know if she can or will, ever escape.

 

Want to take a peek inside of “Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day” just click the book cover.

 

“Love…Like Snow In Florida On A Hot Summer Day” available at www.TracyLDarity.com, www.Amazon.com, and other book sellers around the country. Also available in Kindle format.

 

 

Tracy L. Darity is also the author of “He Loves Me He Loves Me Not!” To contact the author for appearances and special book club rates, email her at [email protected]